The Divorce Process is one of the most painful experiences that a human being can go through. It often comes with a constant fear that the pain will never go away. It has even been compared to various stages of death, due to the profound experience that one is not only losing a marriage, but also, themselves. It changes not only the couple involved, but also the whole family, children and friends, even business associates.
There is no right way to grieve because grief is not a linear emotion. Which means that you cannot simply go through stages of shock, denial, anger and acceptance in a short and simply-defined order. Divorce is circular and chaotic, with stages that change every day or even from moment to moment.
The most common first emotion and the initial stage is that feeling of shock. This psychological shock, which is different from a shock caused by a situation or an event, usually causes great disruption and distress in our lives. Everybody reacts differently when faced with a situation like this. Some people retreat socially and turn inward, withdrawing from friends or any social contacts, while other people tend to reach out and share their pain with anyone who will listen to them. Coping with divorce is tough and there is no "correct" way to grieve. It is up to you to decide for how long will it take for you to move on. You may even ask yourself...
How Long Will The Sadness Last?
Because the grief is not a linear experience and there is no correct way to grieve the loss of a marriage, it is quite difficult to know for how long will the sadness last. Somebody said that for every 10 years of marriage, takes 1 year to recover. But human feelings and emotions aren't math and you can't just calculate when will your sadness end.
What you can do is to try to change yourself by beginning to let go, which is a difficult physical and psychological movement, but also crucial in order to start your healing process. Force yourself to shift your thoughts from the sadness and you will lift your depression over the divorce much easily.
How To Begin You're Healing Process After A Divorce?
Immediately after overcoming the initial shock of divorce, you should encourage yourself to try these steps as soon as possible.
- Form your emotional support system consisting out of your family members and close friends. - Make a list of your resources and challenges. Keep your mind focused.
- Get an attorney that will assist you and lead you through the complete legal process.
- Try joining a Divorce Recovery Support Group or find an individual therapist in order to help you fully process your feelings.
- Be good to yourself and set aside time for deep-breathing exercises, journaling or anything that allows you to collect your thoughts and relax.
- Try finding your spirituality and a renewed relationship with God or a higher power.
- Never forget that there is no correct way to grieve the loss of a marriage.
Finding Your New Identity To Overcome Sadness
The thought of being alone, finding a new home and forming new friendships can be both exciting and frightening. Some people will go through this phase quickly, while some never quite make it. There are a lot of people who are experiencing complicated and long lasting grief, followed by constant depression.
When faced with such emotions, it is incredibly important for you to listen to yourself and realize that it is your depression what prevents you from fully moving on after a divorce. Only when you make a confident choice to overcome it, you will be able to move into the stage of acceptance and feel happy again.